Warning: Language.

Vince: I was gonna get food
Vince: but I couldn't find any
Me: oh. i'm sorry
Vince: damn well better be sorry
Me: will i EVER be good enough for you? you can make your own sandwiches from now on.
Vince: well if you keep sitting around on you ASS then no, you won't!
Vince: fine!
Vince: I can make sandwitches better than you anyay
Me: well MAYBE if you would stop bitching and tell me what you want on it they would be better.
Vince: I tell you what I want, but NOOOOO, you're always "tired" or "not in the mood"
Vince: fuckin' bullshit
Vince: you shoulnd't have married me in the first damn place if you can't meet my needs
Me: you can sleep on the couch from now on.
Me: oh oh, me meet YOUR needs? What about MY needs?
Vince: you HAVE NO NEEDS
Me: how many times do you stumble in drunk every week
Me: at three in the morning
Vince: I work my ass off every day so YOU can 'stay at home with the kids"
Vince: shit, you're probably just fuckin' the pool boy
Vince: no wonder you're tired
Me: we don't HAVE a pool
Me: but if we did
Me: I WOULD BE
Vince: yea, we can't afford a pool
Vince: since you have your 6 million fuckin' pairs of shoes!
Me: yeah, but the pool boy's free. did you really think you fathered both the kids?
Me: hey, i NEED those shoes.
Vince: lol, you really think they're my only kidds?
Vince: I've got more kids out there than you've got shoes
Me: are you suggesting that you have a second life?
Vince: and THATS saying something
Me: you WHORE
Vince: shit, I have about 567
Vince: since YOU sure as hell can't satisfy me
Me: well MAYBE if you took a shower once in a while I would go near you.
Vince: mabye if you got your fuckin' LAUNDRY out of the shower, I WOULD
Me: now see, you got me mixed up with your other sluts, because i don't keep my laundry in the shower
Me: THAT'S WHY WE HAVE A LAUNDRY ROOM
Vince: laundry room?
Me: yes
Me: with the washer and dryer..
Vince: oh THAT"S what you call that room full of cum stained bras and shit
Me: well you probably don't know it's there
Me: because you DON'T WASH YOUR CLOTHES
Vince: unlike you, who washes your cloths in the EXCRETION of your damn pool boy
Me: yeah, yeah JUST ASSUME THAT
Me: but you know what that makes you? an ASS
Vince: I DO
Vince: and you're a whore!
Me: says the one with 567 kids.
Vince: a ungratefull bitch whore
Vince: you don't give a shit of thanks for what I do for you.
Me: and what exactly do you do for me?
Me: hmmmm?
Vince: give you a HOUSE to live in
Me: oh yeah like htat's so hard
Vince: work a shitty job to fund your fuckin' SHOES
Me: AND FOOD
Me: for your CHILDREN
Vince: YOUR children
Vince: those 3 are yours, not mine
Me: well, the oldest is yours.
Vince: is not
Vince: he has the neighbor's son's eyes
Vince: they're blue
Me: ..fuck
Vince: yea.
Me: okay, well
Vince: you sure did.
Me: one of them is yours.
Vince: ok, from now on, I'll bring home enought food for one of them
Me: wtf, you know i don't work
Vince: if you want your 2 to live, you better get offa your huge ASS and get a JOB
Me: how the hell are you going to explain that to the kids?
Me: "sorry kids, daddy didn't bring you food because you're not his"
Vince: yup
Vince: I'm not gonna lie to them
Me: you know what, YOU LOVED MY HUGE ASS back when we got married.
Vince: hell, I don't care, they're not even mine
Vince: well...I still do, actually
Vince: but that's not the point.
Me: oh really?
Vince: well...yea
Vince: *shrug
Vince: that thing is goooood
Vince: I wanna be friends with it
Vince: ..again
Me: well that doesn't make up for the fact that--
Vince: that?
Me: well, okay.
Vince: *smile
Vince: that's more like it
Vince: tell you what
Vince: I'll give up all cleal liquer from now on
Vince: and mabye try doing some laundry
Me: and stop with the bitches and ho's?
Vince: alright, if you stop with all the neighbors kids
Me: -siiigh- fine.
Vince: alright, good.
Vince: let's go have wild sex like a good married couple
Me: okay
Me: but my huge ass broke the bed last week with the lawn guy.
Vince: well whatever
Vince: kitchen counter?
Me: okay!
Vince: woo!

Courtney: I'm going to put an away message up later "HEY MEL, CALL ME ON MY CELL FOR WHICH STRIPPERS YOU WANT AT OUR PARTY --------? OH, AND... DON'T INVITE ANYONE AHAHAHA"
Courtney: I dunno o_O
Me: XD
Me: Courtney.. there will be no strippers at --------
Courtney: ... >__>;;;;

Courtney: well um <__<
Courtney: I'M A STRIPPER..
Courtney: O_O
Me: XD
Courtney: Sometimes
Courtney: LOL
Me: Well. I'm not JT so keep your clothes on.
Courtney: >_> OMG HOW'D U KNO!
Me: XD
Courtney: I'm just joking.
Me: I know
Courtney: I don't even have to undress myself around him
Courtney: ... -snickergiggle-
Me: ..TMI
Me: T. M. F*ING. I.
Courtney: LMFAO
Courtney: SORRY
Me: xD
Me: It'sokay
Courtney: I can't keep my mouth shut
Me: Lmao
Courtney: .................... wait, wait.........
Me: Or your fingers..
Courtney: INNUENDO
Me: um..
Courtney: AHHHH
Me: XD

Me (11:40:23 AM): have you seen pride & prejudice?
Courtney (11:40:38 AM): no ;;
Me (11:40:41 AM): oh okay
Me (11:40:50 AM): cause the guy who plays the perosn who replaced norrington was in there
Me (11:40:52 AM): he was funny
Courtney (11:41:04 AM): ... WHAT?
Courtney (11:41:09 AM): someone replaced norrington?!
Me (11:41:15 AM): I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU SAW IT
Courtney (11:41:20 AM): I DID
Me (11:41:23 AM): YEAH
Courtney (11:41:26 AM): BUT THE ACTOR WAS DIFFERENT?!!
Me (11:41:28 AM): NO
Me (11:41:30 AM): XD
Me (11:41:31 AM): THE CHARACTER
Courtney (11:41:39 AM): ohh..
Courtney (11:41:41 AM): OH THAT GUY
Me (11:41:43 AM): omg
Me (11:41:43 AM): XD
Courtney (11:41:47 AM): the east india trading company guy?!
Me (11:41:49 AM): yeah